I think the saddest moment of my life was when I came home and sat next to my fathers bed and he just looked at me, and I knew right away that for the first time he didn’t know who I was.
Honestly, it almost feels harder when it’s not something that’s in and out of my mind all day. When I go almost a whole day without the thought of it, and then I’m sitting there and have a random small thought and just think “oh I’ll ask dad about that later.” Or “oh dad would be interested in that”. And then right after that it’s like the wind has been knocked out of me and I have to catch my breath. When I’m reminded that I can’t do that. I won’t ever be able to do that again. Because he isn’t here. Those are the hardest moments.
"Do you remember the saddest moment of your life?"
"Probably sitting at the kitchen table with my dad, an hour after my mother died, realizing we had to figure out what we were going to do for lunch."
wow. alrite. i’ll give it a shot…
your name is frank now..it’s a long story. your girlfriend is about to break up with you because of the long distance. it’s ok. & that job you’re working..well, you’re gonna have to work there for another year and some months.. & then you’re gonna get fired. you’re gonna work a couple more jobs after that too. nothing glamorous. kinkos and at&t if you really want the specifics. but you’re never gonna be homeless or starving. don’t worry you won’t fail and have to move back to new orleans either. you are gonna get your heartbroken though. twice. if it helps, the first one is gonna be worse than the second. contrary to how it feels, it won’t kill you. in fact it’s gonna help you write an album. yea, you finally finished an album. people like it man. you’re actually gonna write and record hundreds of songs. they won’t all be good and most ppl won’t think you’re talented at first, but you’re going to master your gifts. you’re going to become a lot stronger and wiser..even a little taller. be patient. i mean, you kind of have no choice. and be good to people. i don’t wanna spoil too much for you, but.. you’re on a plane right now to the east coast to work with kanye west & jay-z. it’s all working out kid. you made it.
The perfect fit.
I went to the Gynocologist today and Jon came and we were sitting at the front desk as she had me fill out paper work. She took my insurance card and asked if it was under my parents, and my heart just completely sank, because I thought it may be under my dad, and that I wouldn’t have to explain that he’s no longer here. It ended up not being, but I got kind of flustered and was like “my parents? Oh, uhm, I’m not sure which parent it’s under…” I never know how to talk about my dad, wether in present or past tense.
I don’t know why, but that really was rough.